TRYBE Tales - Weekly Wellness Edition

Wellness Wisdom Drops

FROM TRYBE

“As you grow older, you'll find that you enjoy talking to strangers far more than to your friends.” - Joy Williams

Small talk leads to big steps.

🧠 The Hard Stuff

There is nothing more socially acceptable than the non-socially acceptable idea of small talk. Seriously, the intense consensus for its disdain is kind of ironically uniting. BUT the lost art of small talk may be a missing piece to getting society back to a socially fulfilling life, especially after a global pandemic filled with isolation.

Studies have shown that people enjoy it more than they predict, reporting increased feelings of happiness, trust and optimism after engaging in small talk. Aside from that, it’s an important gateway to building the deeper connections we are quite intensely ALL craving at this point in history. It’s actually helping us neurologically build what it takes to form healthier relationships, extending beyond the person we’re engaging in small talk with. Here’s some of the BIG magic of small talk:

• It reduces stress and improves mood through the releasing of endorphins

• It improves active listening skills, an important skill in building meaningful connections

• It builds psychological safety, a critical step for elevating into deeper conversations

• It's a stepping stone to deeper connections, serving as practice for communication skills

• It helps us build muscles to overcome social discomfort and improve spontaneity

So next time you roll your eyes at another seemingly shallow convo, remember it’s essential for your health. Plus, in this climate there is never enough you can say about this weather, so material is a plenty.

🍦 The Soft Stuff

Let’s turn inwards because small talk can actually have an impact beyond filling in the awkward silence of an elevator ride. For the receiver, it can change the trajectory of their day, making people feel acknowledged in their existence and valued as a human being in general. It’s a simple human action that takes very little effort, and yet many of us live in a world where it’s just not common because frankly we’re kinda brought up to shy away from things that don’t have a direct impact (i.e. why would you talk to someone if you don’t want anything from them?!). We may not think anything of it, but it’s quite palpable when you’re the observer of these moments of missed connection. Like that time an ex of mine from Spain’s top complaint of the West was that people didn’t say hello in the elevators. He couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that we didn’t acknowledge each other’s existence and engage in small talk, something so engrained in what we may call the ‘happier’ countries of the world (side bar: bless his soul, that didn’t deter him from saying hi to literally everyone he passed by).

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of the silent treatment, even through a non verbal smile or nod of the head, you may understand the subtle sting it can leave. It may not have a conscious impact but over time it stiffens us into a culture of being closed off and grumpy…not a great look for us!

 1. Volunteer 🧠

Social anxiety can be quite debilitating but signing up for a volunteer event can be a great way to keep your mind and hands busy, while also exposing you to new and uncomfortable conversations with strangers. If it feels overwhelming, start with a small gig (a few hours) and perhaps a cause that will keep you busy, like building homes.

 2. Improv Classes 🧠🍦

Improv classes are a great way to get out of your head and into the moment, building confidence in spontaneous conversations. Most cities have these available and it helps teach you how to think on your feet, be in the moment, embrace uncertainty and go with the flow, all of which are great building blocks for getting comfortable striking up convos with strangers. PLUS it’s really fun and silly - and the world could use more fun and silly.

3. Hit Up a Hotel Lobby Alone 🍦

Okay Okay, I know what you’re thinking….huh?! But going places alone is a great way to force yourself to strike up convos (or answer them), and no better place as a gateway than a hotel lobby or bar. Usually hotel loiterers are transient, open to chat and have great boundaries of leaving you alone after a few exchanges. If you’re ever looking to slightly step outside your comfort zone and test the waters, try working from a hotel lobby for a few hours and feel the slight bump in endorphins from that small lobby chat.

Say hi to a stranger you pass on your day today.