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Habitual Maybe Syndrome š¤·š½
The Wishy Washy Life of Wishy Washy Committers (Ep. 11)
Tameem Rahal
09 Apr
THE CULPRITā¦
Commitment Issues
Picture this - you just got invited to a Saturday hang with friends. You donāt actually rsvp and tell the crew āIāll see how I feelā, leaving your schedule wide open - just like the hole youāve left in your crewās gaping heart. Fast forward 3 āIāll see how I feelā later, you stop getting invited, you stop getting accounted for, you stop getting excited smiles and hugs when you do show up to hang outsā¦ghosted by your own indecision š». Savage. |  meh. whatevs |
Ripple Effects Beyond The Self
The impact of non-commitment extends far beyond the immediate moment. The uncertainty caused by non-commitment triggers stress responses in the brain, releasing cortisol and activating regions associated with anxiety. Over time, this chronic state of indecision can contribute to heightened stress levels, negatively impacting both our mental and physical well-being. On top of that, the trail we leave behind can be messy. When we fail to make definitive choices, we convey a lack of investment and reliability to those around us, undermining the foundation of mutual respect and understanding, something that is really critical in relationships, friendships, workplace setting, Dungeons & Dragon meetups. Everything.
THE SHIFTā¦
Live With The Consequences ššæāāļø
Thereās no need to say yes to everything. In fact, saying no, is still a committed decision. Itās simple, say no and live with the consequences like the grown up that you are. If itās not an obvious yes, then itās a no. If itās a āoh I hate movies Iāll complain the whole timeā, itās a no. If itās a āI kinda want to see if I get magically taken out on a date that dayā, itās a no. If itās a ābut I might be tired from working the night beforeā, itās a no. Let the NO set you free š§āāļø |  she said YES. |
The Power of No (or Yes)
Saying no isn't just about setting boundaries; it's a potent tool for optimizing our mental and emotional well-being. The act of saying no triggers a release of dopamine in the brain, the neurotransmitter responsible for pleasure and reward. This surge of dopamine reinforces our decision-making process, making us feel empowered and in control of our choices. PLUS research shows that folks who consistently make decisive commitments report higher levels of overall well-being and life satisfaction compared to those who struggle with indecision.
THE TOOLSā¦
See What Sticks
1 // Hell YAS Gut Check
As the old adage goes, if itās not a āHell yesā than itās a no. If you find yourself in a potential habitual cycle of āmaybesā, itās time to set yourself straight and break the addiction. For the month, when presented with an invite as yourself if itās a āHell YESā and proceed with the response.
2 // Set a deadline
Hold yourself accountable for when you need a bit more time to see if plans will work out. Let the invitee know when exactly youāll be able to respond, put a reminder in your cal and send that rsvp off. Hint: if itās not until the day of, then just reply no.
3 // Switch Shoes
Put yourself in their shoes for a hot minute. If you were planning an hang and you were getting 25% āIāll see how I feelā response rate, how would you feel? Probably annoyed, frustrated and hungry. Chances are you donāt even care if itās a ānoā, you just need to know the hard numbers. Put yourself in their shoes and try to be as respectful as you can with a swift response.
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More to Explore:
šš¼ A chuckle: Maybe Means No
šš» A read: The Curse of Maybe
ššæ A book: The Power of Decision
Happy Shifting!
- Tameem
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